wonder

Dusk – where did the day go? Up in the mountains, I look out my window. The lavender patch of the sky, sandwiched between cadet blue and celeste, is fading fast. Only the heavy puffs of gray remains, huffing out of smokestacks of apartments built a decade ago. It’s necessary. Nine degrees. I dare not step out.

I only see a fraction of the two canopy trees – enough. Their bark is stripped white and their twigs sport a easy-to-snap look. The spindly arms still cling onto withered dry leaves. Why is it always so hard to let go?

With a click, I turn the light on.

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Demarest

Demarest

i said goodbye
but I can’t stay away
how can i
you’re the home in
i learned to love
myself
your walls heard my tears
your hallways saw my antics
your door always greeted me
parents absent friends influenced
my dresses, writing, laugh never wavered
when it’s quiet and the summer heat thick
i’ll come visit
you deserve to be loved too.

Juice Rani*

*rani means queen in Hindi

Drink

shots i expect to be bitter
a tall liquid concoction
made primarily of coconut and pineapple
i couldn’t wait to taste the nectar
but it was marred by the rum
though legal and ready to mingle
with alcoholic beverages
i realized i could do without
the added ingredient
rush of sugar is much preferred
over intoxication

social anxiety

library

walk into the library
stacks of books are the same
but this afternoon it’s crowded
knot of unease try to find quiet
tiptoe up steps peek through doors
faces laughing unnerved to walk in
push past it cringe at the creak of
entrance group eyes ignored –
I can’t explain it
I walk and talk like them
but my mental label persists
pariah