Indigo is curled up in my lap as I write this. When it’s just two of us, she follows me around. I never predicted she would be like a puppy. I adore it.
When I first brought Indigo home, sounds of the bathroom and neighbors frightened her. The only spot she could find was hiding under my bed, but mostly she’d immediately attached herself to me and Rich and jumped into bed with us. Two years old and despite having grown up bouncing from high kill shelters, she has a vibrant personality. Indigo is very vocal about what she needs be it extra food, litter box change, some cuddles or a pick up to my bed because she’s lazy to make the jump. An automatic friend, I still stare at her in amazement sometimes: here I am holding something alive and full of life.
Rich laughed at my reactions every time Indigo blinked at me or purred; I crooned over all of it. A prior pet owner, he was used to such behaviors. For me all my stuffed animals were my pets. They’re not replaced by Indigo now, just shared with her – I’m glad she’d rather cuddle up next to them than claw them.
Being a cat mom is a delight, but I constantly worry about her. The first day she didn’t use the litter box at all. The second day she ate too fast and vomited a little. The fourth day when I came home I realized she hadn’t eaten or drunken anything at all. Her poop hasn’t been fully solid lately – which became my entire conversation with my roommate from college, the Cat Guru having grown up with several cats. Lilian told me not to worry, it’s just the change in the diet. As long as she is still eating and the poop doesn’t smell, the food will eventually process well in her body.
Still, I have a standing appointment with a vet tomorrow. Hopefully my questions get answered, especially tips on trimming my Indigo’s nails. Occasionally I’ll hold her paw and she’ll let me and I’ll pretend to snip the tips of her nails with my fingers but three is the limit. She has scratchers in the apartment but I worry the longer her nails get the more she’ll want to claw. While that’s more of a how it will affect me problem, I don’t want her nails to get stuck in something while I’m gone either. It’s a scary responsibility, to have one’s life so dependent on me but I am rewarded by her company.
I know it’s a valid fear, but I struggle to admit that I don’t want to be alone. Don’t get me wrong, I love my personal space, but I fear the day my primary emotional support from my parents and Rich will be lost. My parents want me to come back home to them and Rich wants to see the world. I can’t appease either of them so I hope to make Indigo the happiest cat.
It’s easy to give unconditional love. To ask for it, it seems like you have to be worthy enough for the other person. I’m glad I’m worthy enough for Indigo. When she head bunts and meows, I communicate right back talking in either a singsongy voice or meowing right back to tell her I love her. She’s the only cat to let me kiss her so much. We’ll pretend to pounce on toys and chase each other to get our cardio. The best part is that she loves my bed as much as me so when I’m reading, Netflixing, sleeping or snacking, she’s beside me. Though I got to be careful! She’s always trying to steal a lick of my dish! A very curious cat, I’m a lucky mom to have an enthusiastic darling.