cool night, warm heart

born in the high heat of summer
but autumn is my favorite
when the leaves fall
i only see a shedding
necessary for a beginning
my new year begins at the
end of september, the crunch
of previous months’ regrets
under my feet, a chance to
gain composure revived


type a personality

i forgot what it was like to be overwhelmed by work, twelve and an all-a student i carried myself proudly, sang sk8er boi the arrogant attagirl, my haughtiness assured me i would ace myself into honors – but i didn’t, thirteen and banal with my band of b’s by fourteen my shift stick cognitive dissonance controlled cynicism, carefree but too caustic, careless – i passed into AP to retain the title of smart but my effort was sour, like milk i was curdled all four years.
university took me under quickly, still riding on senioritis, i underestimated the expectations of me, evenly i effaced on class ranks eventually floundering enough to reevaluate, digging deep into my prideful gusto i grasped at my grated up grit,
now or never.
1.8 GPA to graduate in three years, i meet days when tasks take too long, frustration groans and inside fourteen first, fast flaring fire daring to tread dismissively but
there’s a reemergence, initial inciting put out, i impatiently answer the allure in checking my to-do boxes, the rush to answer a demand, to prove i am capable, the best, awesome as i tell myself
it’s a tick, i must do, compute, complete, compete
dormant but now reawakened, daring is an addiction, my plate’s full but my eyes hunger to fill in the white space in my planner


I put my pot of water to boil in the back
not because tendering pasta wasn’t important
for my lasagna, but the cooking of ground chicken
and sauce was tricky for me, for a thorough
completion it demanded my first attention.
I jumped to dash in salt in my water
to keep my noodles from sticking
but I was more creative with the splashes of spices
oregano, garlic salt, Italian herbs, parsley into the filling
the recipe called for a thirty minute prep
my deliberation slowed me down, concentration unwavering
I made sure the stuffing was ready before
I stirred up my noodles even if it slowed me down
by an hour, when all the pieces came together
it was a delicious meal I am proud of


yesterday was ten hour classroom setup grueling
so naturally i slumped through my anniversary date
only to pinch myself to midnight to finish lesson plans.
somehow i managed to wake up half past five today
sure to be a tricky day, i tiptoed on maintaining
positivity for the after hours Meet the Teacher
through the practice of activity demonstrations
for the first day of school. my coteacher and i
were commended for our synchronization
bouncing in and out of each other’s converstion
as we taught, our morale boosted
she let her hair down and i put on my heels on
ready to usher families into a new school year
rewarded by shy, but eager little faces