the best of us

when a shower rod breaks
it is not even, in fact there are no parts
the two ends slip unspoken
their simple shared responsibility
to uphold the billowing curtain
marred by towels and makeshift
hanger dryer not in the agreement,
the ends unhinge together as one

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you’re the same if you walk away

daughter of the waves
she collects shells, broken
whole, the sand jealous scratches
but she claps back the dirt
drags the debris down depths
of no discernment, graveyard of baubles

daughter of the waves
buoy admiration, she bobs up
wherever the foam takes her
under the pull of light
her temperamental full display
none can touch her
without the fear of drowning

The No Break-Up Clause

Nope, we’re not breaking up. Nope, you don’t know what you want. Oh senioritis got you wondering? You want the college experience? Here it is: people live by themselves, people go to class, they get food with friends and hang out at parties or game or watch movies together. It’s freeing, yes, because you can do it when you want to do it.
But me? You can only choose me now.
Not tomorrow because I’m not going to waste my time not being appreciated. I am not some girl to taste in an array of cuisine. No I’m the full meal: my coquettish giggle the appetizer, my intellectual conversation about passions the three-course meal and if you’re lucky – and only then – the depths of my heart for dessert.
So you’ll choose me today because I am the best damn woman you have in your life.
We’re not breaking up.

That’s what I wish I said. Instead I begged for another chance like a dirty dishtowel desperate to clean the last crummy plate. I never wanted to stop, didn’t want to start over, too afraid to never find a flame again.

now i see clearly

when I saw her castle I was jealous
fancy tools to perfect towers and windows
I could not reach her dig depth for wet sand
adamant I collected underwater grains
soaked I set a foundation on a dry hill
decorated with protection layers of shells
in a dampening mood, the tides surged forward
her rotundas fell inward swimming in their
self-created moat while mine withstood
but pride was unsatisfactory when her
company danced on the mounds of prime
beach architecture gaily and I was left with
mermaid toenails

sunrise

I don’t need an alarm to wake me. I keep my shades open. When the big star breaks the horizon, its brightness spills onto my bed. Facing the wall or the window, my room is washed with muddled hues of a grapefruit.

Forgiveness is like burning water and boiling it the same way routinely. A festering grudge takes effort to retain like a can of beans without a can opener. A damp towel you can’t shake off, your trip to the beach will always be tainted by the crab pinching your toe than the shells you collected.

When I was a little girl, my dad took my mom and me everywhere. His enthusiasm was my calm inspiration to daydream on long car drives and energy to keep walking on my own five year old feet when exploring.
I don’t recollect more. My prime flashbulb moments are fixated in the duration of the acme of my teens. Clanging cymbals of disagreements, no math homework help or driving lesson was without verbal talons streaking across each other’s hearts.

Clouds are amorphous. On stratus days, you’re a dulled kitchen knife. But puffy cumulus days, painting with shaving cream, giggle and wonder at all possibilities.

A sailor drifts on sea to value land and appreciate the waves that carry him forward.
I wouldn’t know how to drive if it weren’t for my father. I managed to pass calculus because of him. Today when I get frustrated at work, I call him on my drive home and he listens to me rant. I can’t tell him what’s in my heart and he doesn’t ask limiting any disapproval to be spoken. Instead, we watch hours of television together, our silent communication solid through our shared laughter and tears watching comedic shows and Hallmark movies.

For every negative comment, it takes five positive comments to bring you back to state of balance. My wavering self-confidence tells me there’s still gold emotion coins to be earned. But as sun shines fiercely marking a new day, striving to be positive will set a precedent of a mindset that will react with patience and acceptance – for myself from my own eyes.

disconnect

trains passing through the night
shared strip of platform for
opposite tracks, one and four
arriving and departing
dress shoes, worn sneakers
chasing a career, maintaining a job
first month pay invested in efficient Tesla
second year working bills piling up
talk is a game, hypotheticals in the day
are incomplete checks on the nightly review
playing chess not to checkmate, catch to tag
a partner always left lying in wait
when we stop dreaming together
can we have a future?

tell me you love me

like a parched orchid in a drought
the gust’s whisper of impending rain
entices but the promise is questionable
until upheld. the orchid arches her
slender stem to let her delicate petals
radiate in the penetrating beat of light
hoping clouds part to quench her thirst.
if her roots weren’t so deep she’d
relocate, so dependent on the fickle
weather, her worry sheds her blooms
as she witnesses in the thick smell of
humidity, the rolling vapor hanging over
freshly blossomed dutch tulips.
desperate for a drink, the orchid
misses the sun’s disappearance too